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Showing posts from February, 2014

Vimalakirti and Google

A conversation started about Google and the Wisdom 2.0 conference and the protest that popped up. I’ve been reading along, commenting here and there, and otherwise feeling at a loss because I sense something is still missing from the contributions that have informed my personal response. It’s dirt. Rich soil and water. And sunshine. Maybe snow, too. I'm feeling the pain of having a conversation that addresses all the causes and conditions. You might see what I have to offer as macro solution, but actually I see it as the most simple, micro solution, the easiest solution (you don't need a degree or money or to be enlightened!). It starts with what was under all that concrete anyway?
I met with my big dharma brother who is very different from me. His wife actually teaches mindfulness training for Google, so I went to him with the spirit of receiving a view that wasn’t easy for me access within myself.
I did my bows and told him my woes- how I felt that mindfulness, or meditati…

Studying, Way Seeking Mind, and The Path

There are maps and there is your compass. My dad taught me never to go into the woods without a compass, even if you think you know the trail. These maps and this compass will help me navigate, but they are not the mountain or the path, not the deep red manzanita trees growing on Mt. Tam. I think dharma and practice are like this.

For instance, we sell maps of Mt. Tam:

Mt. Tam overlooking Green Gulch
These maps are made with the best intention and updated regularly by the park service. However, how many times have I been out there to find that this trail is grown over, this trail is closed, this trail cannot be found? So mapping the path and walking the path are two entirely different things. And it's only with my compass that I can sort of feel the ground beneath me. Sutras and way seeking mind are like this. 
When I open a sutra my heart floats above the spacious pages, the concepts, the poetry. The excitement for exploration meeting the promise for what lay beyond the pages can be…

Sick Face Buddha.

I spent over 24 hours with a fever of 102. The days leading up to sweat rolling through the ridges of my ribcage we feverish also, just I didn't know it. So I went to work, cut the grass in the kitchen garden, went home, and passed out in a sleeping bag. Not one dharmic thought came to mind. I tried to count my breaths, and what I heard was a sort of disgusting rattle. The rattle became easier and easier to make, shallower and shallower, until my breathing was just panting. 
After spending a hundred or so dollars on whatever Whole Foods could throw at my illness, I finally dumped 120 dollars on a prescription to tamaflu. 12 hours later, fever broke. I should mention that actually I did nothing, my partner Lauren did all of this, just asking me here in there if I concurred, and I'd grunt or nod or ask for another cold damp cloth. 
I came to about a day ago, although yesterday I woke up and went to Zazen and almost threw up during the 9 bows. A recurring urge to run kept me dist…