Sunday, July 31, 2011

Everything Changes, Everything's Connected, Pay Attention


Above, in the title, are three things my Zen teacher said are basic for Buddhists to do and understand. I'm going to carry them around a little, see where they ring true in my life.

The buddha-dharma flame has sparked again in my life, and again, here I am reading your blogs and writing mine and feeling supported. Feeling like there's a big world out there to explore.

Luckily, everyone got to miss my environmental revolutionary phase where I was so fired up after reading Derrick Jensen's End Game (both volumes). I agree with DJ and I had to ask myself this:

What do you want to do? Save the planet from being killed
Why? To stop widespread suffering
Is it possible to stop anything from dying and suffering? ...

My practice is Zen, not blowing up dams. It's to welcome affliction and meet it with loving kindness and compassion, and to recognize delusion, and I'm so glad to type that out. For awhile, that made me feel like I was copping out, letting the dominant culture destroy the world and my heart was full great conflict, but I don't think there is any copping out. If Deep Green Resistance want to dismantle petroleum culture, I'm gonna let them. And if Walmart starts selling kesas, I don't care either. I know that I can't save the planet or stop suffering, and even if I could, we have no idea what salvation looks like for each sentient being.

I'll never be completely out of the DGR camp, but nor will I be completely out of the dominant culture, or completely anything. Mostly this or less that is probably more accurate for me.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Do I really have to say something?

I've been thinking about a Steve Hagan teaching, the one from Buddhism Plain and Simple. It's the one where we conjure up a closed fist and we think about the beliefs we have about what's in the fist. It's about how we only have beliefs when we can't see reality. And when that hand opens up, or rather when we can see the open hand, beliefs fall away.

Here are some closed fists in my life. Also some stuff I've been up to: teachering, rangering, husbanding, farmering, priestering,and...fathering?

So many intense beliefs about all that. Backwards and forwards, good and bad, always switching for me but never becoming two sides of the same coin. I see in 2d.

My wife and I are moving to Green Gulch next year. I was sitting zazen and thought that wasn't really me and then I thought of all these different costumes i've worn (the latest being my fave, National Park Ranger!) how the hell would that all work. And then I saw me this very serious monk looking version of me, the one I left at the New Orleans Zen Temple, and then a mardi grais version of me, the one in the princess Leia costume who ate mushrooms and made out with everyone (everyone). And the the teacher version. Then the husband version. And they all started taking seats. They all started shutting up. It was like the gig the was up-they all found about eachother, all my little selves and each one no more or less important than the first one.

Pretty good day dream. I think that's what I'll have them put on my little urn some day.