Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Too much or too little.

How do we practice the way without too much regret or too much pride? How do we really act?

I didn't sit this morning, but I did wake up. I forgot that physically getting out of bed is a start to "waking."

Sometimes it's like walking into a room and seeing all the disarray. How do you not feel overwhelmed? Instead, how do you just start cleaning? I think the first thing is to accept that the room is a mess. You can't clean a clean room.

All these questions. I once heard my teacher say, "I only asked Deshimaru one question during my 10 years with him." He was bragging, I thought. I'm not sure what he meant. He said this in response to all of our questions, which we ask over and over. I do ask questions over and over. Some I've been asking for years.

The great matter seems a curse some days. It's always there, won't ever go away. Seems inevitable that I would become aware of it. How do we address it? I only know zazen and right livelihood.

1 comment:

  1. Not that this is an excuse for the incessant questions but I think it may be partly a cultural thing. As Americans aren't we encouraged to "question" everything!? Never take things at face value, never trust what you read, etc. I would venture to say this country was founded on questioning authority. Reading Crooked Cucumber, I start to feel silly because I see Suzuki's gentle frustration with his American students and their constant questions and needing to know why. The Japanese students didn't do that so much.

    Maybe all the questioning doesn't matter one way or another, do it or not but eventually it becomes clear that there are no answers and you naturally and willingly stop asking for them.

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